haphazardmelody

Hope hides around the corner of now and later, but later is always under construction - later never arrives. see me look at me i’m hurting i need you [later never came] i love you please stop please you're breaking me but you love me [later never came] yes he hurt me too i’m sorry it’s my fault

The monster cries my eyes red and then sore and then closed each and every night. The monster screams my veins deep deep deep and I can no longer carve them out. The monster stretches my limbs lazy until they can barely turn over on a restless mattress. The monster reminds me not to eat so that one day I won’t have to feel so damn sad. I know shes right. I grew my monster not op of sweatsoaked sheets and empty lies of love because I never learned how to love myself. I made my monster with care, and she cares enough to never leave me alone.

It’s hard to climb slothscarred trees worm smooth and sleek from miles worth of measured handfalls - a human palm naturally slipgrips most of what it grasps. A human palm rarely aims true, rarely finds its hold, rarely anchors a human body up and onward. Slow and steady reaches the finish line, while brash and reckless only gets burned when it reaches the sun.

i) everyone knows once upon a time paris perished to passion every sunset inside of closed curtains ii) villains vanquish every safe corner iii) nightmares are born everywhere between sweatfilled sheets beneath shards of ideas behind foreclosed plots of plaster and grass nightmares are born every day iv: everyone knew once upon a time florida falls into the sea every summer to be overtaken by sharks v) every moment is three and a half mnutes long and s t r e t c h e s past forever

I am not broken - I am not a snapped hair tie to be tossed in the nearest trash, soon to be replaced; I am not a rusty trunk latch to be taped and retaped into the shape of what I used to be capable of; I am not a spluttering dishwasher to be deconstructed, reconstructed, rehired, repiped because I am not quite out of date yet; I am worn, I am tired, I am battlescarred and scared of the dark; I am not broken.